Chance...

If you had the chance to start the rest of your life today, why wouldn't you? What if there was no such thing as something better? What if this is as good as it gets and it wasn't a death sentence? I know you can flip the coin, there is always an exception. That there are plenty of people who are willing to wait for something greater, greener. Bars are filled with people in the middle of the day that have surrendered to a life they believe can't get any better... but there is also the school of thought that came up with quotes like "youth is wasted on the young". "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all". There are people who pine for the knowledge that have now, back then because they would seize the day. Those who have a shoebox full of letters from the one that got away and have lived every day since then with no regrets.

I realize it is so much easier to say it than actually risk it. The more I think about the hopeless romantic sentiments that are often the disease of young women like myself, the ones who grew up on Disney movies only to be subjected to the "reality" that is Sex in the City. I wonder if the only part that should really have a negative impact is the word "hopeless".

Everyone has a hand in their destiny, even those that would argue against the notion of fate. Decide to be the romantic. Decide to be the risk taker. Decide to succumb to a life that didn't live up to societies expectations. Decide to accept and maybe even enjoy that the moment, the memory, the place that you are in may be as good as it gets... and that might be the best decision you've ever made.

Sign Offs

Why do people feel the need to sign off on emails, facebook messages etc. It already says who the message is from... doesn't that seem sort of redundant?

Critics

Is it or isn't it true that especially as a female, we are our own worst critics? We are harder on ourselves than anyone else. We look in the mirror and see all the flaws that other people don't see. We analyze and scrutinize things to death when it comes to what we present to other people?

I am no longer so sure. Today I was doing some research on matchmaking and there are a lot of women who blog about having no idea why they are still single? Or women who have put out personal ads that definitely don't highlight the things that they believe are wrong with them.

Yes I realize that you won't attract a person with the internal monologue you have with yourself about the size of your thighs or the inflections in your voice. I just think it is contradictory, even for me. When I think about being single I often wonder why I am. Yet, when I look at myself in the mirror or think about myself in the capacity of just being me I am left feeling a bit lackluster. I know you get out what you put in, or at least that is another rule of thumb people adhere to, but then what would explain the harsh criticisms and the contradictory glowing reviews when the context of the question changes?

Waiting

Like Tom Petty said I think the waiting really is the hardest part. It is the time that seems to slide by with the viscosity of a desperately wanted frozen liquid. Minutes seem to last for hours and all one can do is keep doing more of the same. Which usually consists of playing in the areas of your brain that make you feel nervous and unfamiliar with yourself and what surrounds you. It ends up being time spent obsessing, replaying, imagining the past as you would have wanted it to be. The brain on loop is a dangerous thing. It is during these times that I can almost convince myself that unreal things happened and real things did not. I think I need to find a hobby that doesn't only unidle my hands but the corners that make up the inside of my head.