Waiting

Like Tom Petty said I think the waiting really is the hardest part. It is the time that seems to slide by with the viscosity of a desperately wanted frozen liquid. Minutes seem to last for hours and all one can do is keep doing more of the same. Which usually consists of playing in the areas of your brain that make you feel nervous and unfamiliar with yourself and what surrounds you. It ends up being time spent obsessing, replaying, imagining the past as you would have wanted it to be. The brain on loop is a dangerous thing. It is during these times that I can almost convince myself that unreal things happened and real things did not. I think I need to find a hobby that doesn't only unidle my hands but the corners that make up the inside of my head.