Over the years I have had a lot of conversations about the men I date, the men I want to date or the men I like spending time with. My father, for example, has been a willing sparring partner when it comes to this particular topic. This is not out of the ordinary for a father who has gone through two daughter's worth of prime dating years. I mean he never polished shotguns in the living room waiting for me to come home, but we have butted heads about some of my choices. I know he always has my best interest at heart at the end of the day and that he just wants me to he happy. However lately, some of those conversations, from my teens to my twenties, got me thinking.
Have you ever seen the movie 'A Time to kill'? Well for this entry I hope you have because otherwise you may not get the reference.
Close your eyes. Okay, well you can't read this if you do that, so imagine you are closing your eyes. Now picture a Midwestern girl in her twenties. No. Picture a daughter of a daughter of a farmer's daughter wandering the city streets of Chicago. Now imagine that she is looking for someone to compliment the woman she is and the life she lives. Imagine her wanting someone who is confident and has the ability to communicate. Someone who can express emotion and physical affection. A guy who wants to show her off, who wants to take her out, who speaks about her like she is something to be proud of. Someone who is successful and who isn't afraid to talk about the future, whatever that future may be. A guy who is willing to ask what she wants and expect the same in return.
Now imagine what that guy looks like. now imagine he is Black....or Pacific Islander, or Asian or Latino.
Does that make any of the qualities aforementioned less important? Does it make this imaginary couple somehow less legitimate?
Let me digress for a moment just to say that my father is an amazing, caring, nurturing man, and in this particular case I am using him ONLY as an example of someone I have talked to about this topic. It's not like he is a member of White Pride. Hell, he isn't even a Republican. I am using him in this instance because he is my father and more than others has an investment in person. I will spend the rest of my life with. Now back to my point.
Spending the majority of my adult life in diverse areas has made diverse couples part of the norm. I don't see it as an issue the way others might. If I am ever lucky enough to find a guy who demonstrates the qualities mentioned above, I'd be happy just having found him. I know those who genuinely care about me will be as well and that includes my father.
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