Don't Buy That Shirt...

Here is my belated second entry. Fashion faux pas of the week.

Puka shell necklaces.

What up bro? Where did you get that sweet, double strand puka shell choker bro? Bro? Did you just get back from riding some surf or perhaps just revisiting 1992?

Seriously, I have never understood this fad, except for when I was in the islands, where it isn't a fad. In Hawaii, the wearing of puka shells was traditionally thought to ensure a peaceful and safe voyage, especially for sailors on a long journey, so puka shell necklaces were especially worn by those who had to travel at sea.

Someone should tell that to the 30 something man riding my morning bus. He didn't just have one ring of puka shells around his neck he had three. Count em. One. Two. Three. Each getting closer and closer to pushing the 'few extra pounds' up around his face, like a Shar-Pei whose collar is a few notches too tight. It was disturbing but I couldn't look away. I wondered if they were stuck on. Perhaps the clasps had rusted through to the point of impenetrability. Maybe they are the shackles he wears to remind him of his contrite and miscalculated past. I guess I will never know.

I'd like to believe that the Hawaiian snail shells, in the context of a fratastic 19 year old who has buried his puka within the folds of his popped collars would be better. My intuition, however, screams otherwise.